Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Love letter

So last Saturday my church's Women's Ministry put on a brunch entitled BLOOM. Because of my work schedule I usually have to miss the events and it makes me so sad! This one worked out and I got to attend it before I worked three baseball games. I fixed my hair, put actual real make up on (instead of the quick few staples I usually do) and wore a dress with heels...had any of my athletes seen me when I got to work they would've not recognized me...I don't get to "be a girl" very often. I wear wind pants, sweats and short with t-shirts and sweatshirts to work daily. I know, I know...lucky me. It gets old, trust me! I'd love to be able to dress up (although, I'm sure I'd get tired of that too), however if I ever did I'd never hear the end of it at work...coaches are tough...being around male coaches ALL.THE.TIME is tougher! I'm "one of the guys", which is fine, I've always been that way...I get along better with guys because I just don't deal with girl's drama well and I can't stand attention seekers.
So back to Saturday, we had this lovely brunch where everyone was looking beautiful, the setting was spectacular and the conversations were so filling and uplifting!!
Sandy, our pastor's wife and leader of us women had such an inspiring and heartfelt message. It really hit home! She is so real and I love that!! That's one thing I love love love about my church...these are REAL people who let you in and are not afraid to let their guards down and be REAL! I don't know about y'all but I've always held my pastors, the leaders in my church and their families up on a high podium and I feel as if they can do no wrong and have everything together. I am so wrong...hellllloooo they are human too, just like I am and they have flaws and problems and insecurities. Sandy revealed how the Lord spoke to her about the word BLOOM being our theme for the year for the Women of Journey Church and I think it's such an amazing word. Dictionary.com defines BLOOM as: a flourishing, healthy condition; the time or period of greatest beauty, artistry, etc. WOW! This is exactly what the Lord is going to do through the women of Journey this year! Each of our events is going to further expand on the theme and I cannot wait to see what's in store. At the end of her message, Sandy read Psalms 139, all 24 verses out loud and with such passion it hit me so hard! I've read it probably several times but never heard it out loud...man!
I've put it here for you...but I really want y'all to read it aloud. I was trying to record it for y'all but I can't figure out how to put a sound clip in and I am SOOO not video okay right now lol...I videoed myself but I just cannot do that yet.

Psalm 139
For the choir director: A psalm of David.
O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!
I can never escape from your Spirit!
    I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
    if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
    if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
    and your strength will support me.
11 I could ask the darkness to hide me
    and the light around me to become night—
12     but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
    Darkness and light are the same to you.
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
    Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
    as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
    before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me,[b] O God.
    They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
    they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
    you are still with me!
19 O God, if only you would destroy the wicked!
    Get out of my life, you murderers!
20 They blaspheme you;
    your enemies misuse your name.
21 O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
    Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
22 Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
    for your enemies are my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

How  awesome is that?!?! Our God knows EVERYTHING about us...and still loves us and cares so deeply for us. The whole morning and then these verses really got me thinking that I need to focus on myself more! Not in a selfish way, but yes, kind of selfish! I need to work on me and be okay with me...I need to BLOOM! I worry about others and try to please others when I really need to be pleasing myself and God. Obviously God first, but I think that if I please Him, I will please myself  because I am pleasing Him. The only approval I need is His. I've been very frustrated lately with a lot of things and have felt unfulfilled so Saturday morning was exactly what I needed to hear! It's amazing how God knows what we need to hear and when we need to hear it! So if you're still reading, kudos to you and thank you! I've also learned that I may not have time to pour over the Word and study it for hours a day but as long as I'm getting even A verse to meditate on daily that's okay! It's not about quantity it's about quality and honestly, I have a serious running dialogue with the Big Guy Upstairs...I love that He never tires of hearing me! So my goal is to BLOOM!

Hope these verses speak to y'all as they've spoken to me! I plan on doing something with them and posting it somewhere in my house because it's something I want to be reminded of daily!


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